Wednesday, 1 July 2015


The news of Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck's divorce hit me hard this morning.  I could almost feel a tiny sliver of what they must be going through and it's awful - I don't wish it upon anyone.  However it did give me a good opportunity to put things into perspective.  Unlike them, I don't have huge assets that I need to divide up, don't have a marriage I need to dismantle, don't have kids I need to look after or fight over.  I'm not in the public eye so don't have thousands of people chasing me for a story or meet random people and have them not know what to say to me.

It got me thinking about my situation and made me realise how grateful I am that my situation really isn't that bad (even if some late nights when I'm alone in my room it seems like my life has ended).

I've also had so many amazing people around me who I have to take a moment to thank.
  • My 3 beautiful sisters who dropped everything to help me move back home at 12 hours notice and provide unconditional support along the way
  • My parents who welcomed me home with open arms and made the transition so easy for me
  • My friend who sat with me every lunch break for a week, just sitting in silence and watching me cry on Martin Place steps
  • My friend who came over with pizza and de-briefed with me, answered all of my emotional text messages at odd hours of the day/night
  • My friend who was on standby to have lunch with me, have a drink with me, have a cry with me, whatever I needed whenever I needed it
  • My friend who I hadn't seen in over a year clear her schedule to help me move home
  • My friend at work who was happy to step out of the office whenever I just needed a sounding board
  • My other work friend who pulled me into the ladies bathroom when I burst out crying at my desk one day
  • The people who I had previously considered acquaintances but have shown more support than I ever imagined I would receive from them
  • All the texts from my cousins, friends, acquaintances - even though they were hard to receive at the beginning it was still lovely to know so many people cared about me and wanted to make sure I was ok
  • My twitter/instagram/blog families who don't really know me from a lump of wood but have been so supportive when they had no obligation to be
  • My Manager/Team Lead who I am leaving high and dry by moving to London 3 months before our huge project is going to be implemented - I'm sorry!!!

People aside, I'm grateful that:
  • I'm young enough to go to the UK on the 2 year visa
  • My situation isn't as bad as it could be (refer to Ben & Jennifer above)
  • I've been able to sell most of my crap which has been therapeutic as well as practical because I can't take it all to London
  • My sister also decided to move to London so I have a buddy with me every step of the way on this terrifying journey
  • My health has been improving after seeing an acupuncturist and chinese traditional medicine practitioner who has taught me to listen to my body and made me realise just what kind of impact stress has on my physical health
  • I've really been getting into Reformer Pilates which has been such a great outlet for me.  I've even started back on the hot yoga but being very careful not to over-extend myself
  • I've had the opportunity to learn SO much about myself in the past few months.  I've always been a reasonably strong, confident person but nothing can prepare you for having the rug pulled out from under you when you're not expecting it.  I do think it's made me stronger and it's also made me look at myself and make some changes for my own benefit (have more patience, be more compassionate, push myself out of my comfort zone and force myself to do things I usually wouldn't do, learn to let go of things)
It's been an absolutely crazy few months.  Hopefully once I get to London and am settled I can actually breathe for the first time without stress/anxiety/fear.


  1. I'm inspired by how positive you are over the craziness and change in your life these past months!

    To new adventures with only the most loved and best people in your life from now on.

    SSG xxx

    1. Being negative only affects myself and the people around me so I have to be positive. Kx.

  2. Big hugs sweetheart.

    I don't know your situation but it sounds so similar to what I went through years ago. At the time I didn't think life could go on but it turned out to be the best thing that could have happened. I look back now and shudder at the thought of what my life could have been.

    Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself xx

    1. Hey Carls, I totally get that. I'm just waiting to be exactly where you describe and be able to look back on this and appreciate it for what it taught me and know that it is a good thing in the long run. Very difficult to see that now! Kx.

  3. You've are amazing! You will have a fab time in London and just realise how much is still to come for you! x

    1. Thanks Bev. I'm sure London will be amazing and I'm looking forward to it.

  4. So sorry to come back to your blog and find you have been through such a devastating experience. I went through something similar a few years back myself and it was simply awful. The only benefit was the weight I lost from being unable to stomach food for so many months afterwards! It did make me stronger though. A year later I met someone new...after I had consoled myself to being alone forever. Never give up and don't let them win. London will change your life for the better and just know that a man much more deserving of you is waiting out there - and when you meet him you will look back and realise your ex did you a favour!

    1. Hi Anne! I totally understand the losing weight due to not eating - my work pants are now too loose on me so I had to buy a new pair!

      I'm thrilled things have worked out so well for you and that you found strength in such a trying time. And thankyou for sharing your story - it means more to me than you can imagine. I'm excited for London and all the possibilities that brings with it. I won't lie - I'm a bit nervous as well but the excitement is overruling the nervousness and now I'm more optimistic about the future.


  5. I was really sad to hear about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, I am glad you can look at it in a positive perspective.
    I am proud of how far you have come in such a short amount of time. I hope you love London and everything works for you Kay.

    1. Thanks Taralee. So sorry I didn't realise how great things were going for you when you emailed me a few months ago. I am so so happy for you and can't wait to hear about the birth :)

  6. I didn't know you were back blogging here! I've been checking your other one. You know I'm behind you 100%! Also, your sister is moving to London with you!!! That's so exciting! I hope you keep blogging over there so we can share in the adventure with you xx

    1. Of course I will Court! I decided to come back because at the end of the day, HV is still me - relationship or no relationship. To start a new blog and run away from this one would be saying I am suddenly a different person and that my relationship defined me as a person. Which it didn't. :)

  7. Thinking of you Kay! I must have been hiding under a rock (or several rocks) to only realise now what you've been going through :(. I love this post because you are so strong and looking at the positives is so important and yet so so difficult. Looking forward to your new adventures, I bet they will be awesome! xox Deb (


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