I don't normally set myself resolutions but this year I'd really like to make one change in my life - to be less emotional.
Sounds weird but I have this nasty habit of getting too worked up about insignificant things which are of no consequence in the long run. I am the typical "heart on sleeve", passionate girl and I let tiny things get under my skin which is turn makes me angry/sad/frustrated and unable to concentrate on life while I dwell on this stupid thing that doesn't really matter to anyone except me.
Question is - how do you make yourself care less?
Anyway moving on.... have you made any resolutions or goals this year?
Deep breaths and focusing on the bigger picture!
ReplyDeleteSSG xxx
Great idea. I was thinking of doing something like yoga or pilates to calm me down as well?
DeleteI had this goal last year and I think I was more emotional when I was hormonal (around ovulation/period). There was a pattern to when I'd get emotional. So, I started to really pick my battles and think about if I'd actually even remember the thing I was getting upset about in a weeks time. Usually it was a no.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I take St Johns Wort and Evening Primrose Oil which has helped to level out my emotions. Whether it's a placebo or not, I am much less moody.
Hahaha I'm emotional all the time, not at the same time each month. I think it's just a personality trait moreso than hormones which is why I need more than taking supplements. I agree taking EPO would probably help a little though, I used to take it and can't remember why I don't anymore.
DeleteA few things that have helped me, pick and choose. A lot of it is self talk in my head to be calm.
ReplyDelete-Yoga definitely helps me-taking that time out to breathe and be calm.
-Also stopping rushing about, just doing things calmly, otherwise I can make a mistake which makes me more frustrated. Even that self talk of 'I have plenty of time to get everything done' rather than "I have so much to do, and I'll never get it done! and I feel so overwhelmed"
-Reminding myself that I don't know what is happening in someone else's life, and maybe they have something else going on-that guy that just cut me off might be rushing to the hospital, or that person I work with that just did something really annoying/stupid might be going through a breakup- and internally being the bigger person by taking a deep breath and getting on with it.
-Are there any areas of your life-like you do it at work but not at home, where it is affecting you more? Can you remove yourself from those areas/people? e.g. I won't sit down in the staffroom to eat lunch if a certain few people are there because they and their negativity make my blood boil, so I don't put myself in that situation.
-Stop mulling over it-deal with it, and then if it pops back up in your mind to think over just consciously say-No that's sorted/over/finished now, I don't need to think about it any more.
That;s what helps me anyway. Sorry about the essay-I've been working on it the last few months. xx
No thankyou so much for such great advice. I have to admit i'm totally guilty of the "I have so much to do, and I'll never get it done! and I feel so overwhelmed" mentality. I feel like I'm always rushing from one thing to another and trying to squeeze as much in as possible. I am definitely going to start doing yoga and see how I go :)
DeleteI have a picture for you, it's from Carmen, the opera. http://tinyurl.com/lb8sd5u
ReplyDeleteHow to care less? That's a great question, I used to be super scary but now I don't really care of people turn up to lunch/events or not (talking about acquaintances/friends, not work). Now I know it sounds self-fish but I tend to put me first, I am the main dish (and dessert ;) at a dinner party, people are just an entree at most (my beau is the exception) so I believe life is about me. I don't need you to turn up to have a good time, the focus is on an activity, and not people. I'd highly recommend reading the 'Mind Gym' it's green, and had lots of things that helped. :)
Oooh I'll have to track down a copy of Mind Gym, sounds like something I should read!
DeleteGood luck with your resolution, I think that it's a tough one but it will be well worth working on achieving this one.
ReplyDeleteI think I am the same that I get all worked up and I stress over things that at the end of the day aren't worth the energy.
I am trying to say "no" a little more so I don't stretch myself out too far that I always feel like I am failing. If I am running late I text or call the person who I am meeting and say sorry I am running late I will be 10 minutes late and not making an excuse why. That way I don't speed and get aggressive on the road. I would love to have the "duck off the waters back" where I don't take things personally and if something doesn't go the way I planned I can smile and just go with the flow. Sometimes I just close my eyes and imagine myself lying on a beach in Thailand with the warm rays hitting my skin and the sound of the waves hitting the the sand while taking some deep breaths.
I agree with you completely, I would (ideally) love to be completely carefree and have this water off a duck's back mentality but it's just not me. It's really difficult to change the person you are when you are almost 30, it's just about managing it as much as possible
DeleteKay! I used to be really emotional too (well, I still am) but know how to control it more. You know what you need to do? I know this is probably annoying to hear but physical activity helps if you don't already do it. Just a 30-60 minute walk can do wonders! Also YOGA. Honestly, things just fly over my head and I just think "whatever, not worth being upset about"
ReplyDeleteBecause its a personality trait its hard to change - but doing something like the above helps :)
Kara you've convinced me to start yoga now. I did some research and they do yoga classes near my place so will try to drop in this weekend. In the last 6 months I've really thought doing something physical will help me greatly.
DeleteI,m the opposition of you, I wish I cared more! I'm too chilled out. I have a few goals this year which I need to write down to,keep me focused.
ReplyDeleteHahaha can we swapsies please?!??!
DeleteHappy New Year Kay. Glad to see you've moved and seem to have had a good break from the posts. I found that controlling my emotions got better with age and I seemed to be able to prioritise more fluidly the relationships that mattered and the things to do to not disrupt those relationships. So I hope that is the case for you too,
ReplyDeleteLook forward to another year of wiser life choices and more sharing on the blog.
Finally settled and just putting the finishing touches on our place.
DeleteI agree with you, I am much better now at controlling my emotions than I was at 20 but there is still a lot of improvement that can be made.
Can't wait for your London posts. When do you arrive?
Lots of great advice from everyone. I agree when people may not treat you well it causes you to be irritable but like others said they could be having personal issues with the way they are behaving. However I also think when the other person has issues they should try and best manage it so that it does not affect others around them. Maybe speak up when someone does it rather than hold it in (I'm guilty of this too) "I don't like how you do xyz it makes me feel upset"
ReplyDeleteFor me in the work situation if you find yourself getting upset over something take a few deep breaths, make a cup of tea (or coffee run, you fit in a quick walk away from your desk and get a coffee :)), get some snacks (luxe cake, chocolate, whatever you like). I sometimes just call/email a friend and have a quick chat about nothing and I find it does enough to cheer me up to get through that day. You can treat yourself with shopping, nice dinner out (or make a special one at home) etc after work.
For non work situations maybe go out and watch a movie or dvd of your favourite movie, read magazines, go for a brisk walk and just general things to treat yourself.
I find when I am upset I allow myself to be be upset, cry or however else to release those feelings - but only for 5-10 mins. After this period I don't allow myself to be upset, as I don't want to waste my day feeling this way and just carry on with this things.
You will work out the best method to deal with your feelings but lots of great suggestions by everyone :)
I like that you deal with it for 5-10 minutes and then move on. My problem is I dwell on things for days and days, weeks and weeks. Will have to focus on being able to put my emotions in a box and file the box away. Thanks for the advice!
DeleteBeing emotional because you care & sensitive to who and what is around you is a gift, but it can become exhausting. I try to just breathe or remove myself momentarily from the situation. Also acknowledging how I'm feeling and labelling it as my emotional self without actually reacting helps. I tend to overthink things so when I find myself doing it I mentally say 'enough' and either distract or force myself to move on.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your NY resolution K xx
Thankyou lovely. Even this past week I've found myself doing better at not getting carried away and sweating the small stuff and I have to say, I feel so much better!!
DeleteKx.