Monday, 27 July 2015

It's only 24 hours

This is what I kept telling myself to get through Saturday.

Saturday was the day I was meant to walk down the aisle.  It was the day I had been planning towards for over a year (and really, my whole life).  I secretly hoped it would be rained out and freezing cold.  At least that way I could pretend to be happy that I wasn't getting married in the cold and wet.  But no it was a gloriously beautiful winter's day.

I intentionally planned things for the day to distract me from thinking too much about it.  But it was hard.  The first thing I saw on facebook that morning was a friend had gotten engaged.  I felt like a selfish bitch that my first reaction was hurt/pain/sadness before being happy for her.  I knew I shared my wedding date with 2 other ladies and it was SO hard seeing happy wedding pics on facebook that day.

I ended up avoiding social media at all costs and instead read a book (this is something I should electively do more often and not only when people are getting married).  And whenever I started lamenting about "what could have been" I just told myself that the day would be over in 24 hours and I could get through it.

Luckily I was tasked with taking my aunts (who are in town from HK for said 'wedding') around Sydney to see the sights.  It actually worked out well because it gave me an opportunity to say goodbye to Sydney myself.


There was residual sadness yesterday but now I'm in the final week at my job and counting down the days/hours.  My departure is getting scarily close and I just have SO much to get done before I go.

2 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry for your loss :( But when God closes a door he always opens a window, there are good things coming your way :) You're definitely not a selfish bitch for feeling/reacting that way, I'm certain it's normal!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Charlie. It was the last day of significance in this crazy roller coaster journey so hopefully from here onwards it's only going to get better :)

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